...is now up at CR, FFNet and Objection!

As usual, many thanks to the folks who have beta'ed this as its evolved, because they have to put up with a lot: Musouka, Cathryn, Tellezara and Shiva,you're all stars. If it weren't for them it would be full of more PHAIL than usual XD 

This chapter is PG13.

Link at Objection!

Link at FFNet

Enjoy? Heh.
I neglected to note last week that this is finally seeing the light of day online after wrestling with it since September!

Chapters One and Two are up on Court Records, FanFiction.Net and OBJECTION!

You can find them on FF.Net Here

It is worksafe thus far, by the way, despite the M rating. There are themes relating to despression and sexuality but nothing overt at this stage. It's only got an M rating because of a later chapter, which I don't think would squeak in under the bar.
Yes I know Ch 2 is TL;;DR but believe me it's already been edited to within an inch of its life. I can't help it if Miles is an emotional powerhouse :)
Thanks to Cathryn for brainstorming assistance, and to Musouka, Marianne and Shiva for betaing beyond the call of duty and dealing with my shilly-shallying, self-doubt, random and desperate writing approach and to-ing and fro-ing for the last couple of months. I'm an obsessive nutter and they have done well not to get me locked up for it.

Thanks also to loads of folks on here and elsewhere who have offered advice, opinions, and information about Paris and London.

I hope it's not too horrible and that the (small but choosy) audience for stories about Miles wandering around foreign cities for a year without Phoenix finds this to their liking XD
Written today to try and fill a badly written hole in Chapter Two of my WIP. Does it sound feasible, or far too emo?

Does this (actual text under cut) sound like a reasonable and believable scenario to have happened just after PW:AA 1:3?

I'm trying to gauge how both VK and Miles might have felt after that. VK obviously knows he only has to string Miles along for a bit longer.

Miles I think is starting to have doubts but he's still under VK's influence a lot. It's important for me to have the reader feel that ultimately, he is completely reliant on VK for his opinions regardless of any small attempts at free will.

So it's a bit of a balancing act working out what they might say to one another.

I can't believe how long these scenes with the two of them take to play out. Fuck - I'm going to end up with the fic from hell.

Beware spoiler for 3:4




 I've been tidying this section up a bit and thought I'd post a chunk here as it ties in neatly with the CUCKOO short that I wrote last week. This, of course, is from Miles' POV.

God Von Karma is such a bastard.
kingmobuk: (Gumshoe. Phoenix and Edgey)
( Oct. 31st, 2007 10:54 am)
I spent two hours trying to edit two measly paragraphs last night. TWO HOURS.

Clearly, the editing muse is not with me and lack of feedback from betas is weighing me down as I vacillate indecisively over chapter content. Need to kick self in arse repeatedly.

Today I am very tired indeed and have an involuntary eye-twitch.

However, I am still deriving amusement in the form of unexpected snorts of laughter when I think about "Sylar's caramelised pears" so thanks for that, [personal profile] apiphile  :)
I may have need of the odd German phrase now. Maybe. Possibly.

God I am struggling to write believeable Franziska Von Karma dialogue.
kingmobuk: (P&E. Point.)
( Oct. 30th, 2007 02:18 am)
"A last tug at the straps of the neckbrace, compressing veins and arteries and windpipe for a painfully gagging second until the pulse re-establishes against the pressure, angrily hammering as if it wanted to break through both flesh and brace. You rise. The weight of the mail shirt weighs on you like lead. The crunch of the steel goggles digs into your nasal bones, breaking the skin despite the soggy black rubber padding that exudes, as you imagine, the disturbing miasma of old blood...

In a sudden rush of commotion, you are pushed and positioned in the face of your opponent. Close. Too close. Closer than you'd be comfortable having someone standing in front of you with a Martini glass in his hand. Let alone a sharp piece of steel. You know why you're here. Why he is here. Your second clumsily rams his blade into your chest, pushes you backwards, off balance, to establish the proper distance...three feet of metal, sternum to sternum. The ambient noise ebbs and fades, leaving you marooned inside your own pulse..."

I've been reindulging a long-latent interest in the art of academic fencing (the mensur) for the Paris Fic I've been writing (don't ask!). Rather unfortunately but predictably this has ended up dragging me away from the fic and into following the twisting paths of the Internet and getting sidetracked beyond measure.

It's held a fascination for me since I read about it as a teenager in George MacDonald Fraser's ROYAL FLASH, which features a fictionalised Bismarck doing his thing with a korbschlager about the head of the unfortunate and accidental hero in order to leave him with an appropriate scar (although I think the location of said scar would be against the modern day rules).  It was damn hard to research back in those pre-Internerd days, since it's a relatively secret practice these days (and has been since it was rather savagely banned by Hitler). I'm at a loss to say why I find this subject such a fascinating one, especially given that it is an exclusively male practice that ordinarily I might be expected to consider a rather ridiculous way to spend one's free time.

Anyway, I thought I'd share a couple of fascinating articles on the subject that I dredged up in case anyone else in interested in this admittedly somewhat arcane subject.  Note that the one by Jonathan Green does include one rather bloodspattered photograph if you're at all squeamish. I also want to post this up and tag it so I can find it easily next time.

Amberger's Secret History of the German Broadsword
Jonathan Green's Blood Brothers
3/12 Edited to add this pic from Flickr and subsequent comments: http://www.flickr.com/photos/liz/1308719/

As to why it applies to this fic? I'm thinking the Von Karma family are EXACTLY the sort of family with deep ties to the Corps.  And man, it would explain so much about my hero :)
kingmobuk: (Edgeworth. Cute prosecution)
( Oct. 10th, 2007 12:01 pm)
Well we're now at 5 parts and 25,000 words-ish although that may be trimmed or expanded on depending on feedback from my lovely beta readers and proofers.

Just an update really to thank folks on here whose information has been invaluable so far:

Chris - your tailor is making an appearance although as I havern't met him you'll have to bear with my creative license!

Karon - I didn't use the churches you provided but following your links I did find La Saint-Chapelle also on Ile De La Citie and it's ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.  In point of fact I didn't use it for the emo moment I had originally intended but it's working out well for a more important scene towards the end.

Burge - tea in Paree is still being worked in and I haven't specifically been to the Marais yet but you have led me to some ... interesting ... websites that have been most informative about the pick-up culture in Paris.  Also after looking at Karon's info on Laduree I have been able to fictionally construct a cafe that feels about right.

So all in all - RESULT! Cheers, all!
kingmobuk: (Goodbye. Icon by Me)
( Sep. 20th, 2007 01:35 pm)
Fairly colloquially as opposed to in a phrasebook kinda way.

I need a line translating and I'm not sure if I can trust online translation tools or my own tortured memories of O Level class.
Okay, so I'm tentatively plotting out a (fanfic) story that would take place in London and Paris over a year, roughly - Feb - Feb.

Geographically I am alright with Teh London but while I know some about Teh Paris I have never actually been there. And by God if I'm going to write about Paris, even in a fanfic,  I want it to be halfway accurate.

1) TEA IN PARIS (the most important things surely)

I've already read anw's journal of Paris so I know that tea can be had in the right places (this is important as my character is a serious tea drinker).  My character has sadly suffered from stories where he is depicted as drinking herbal muck before, due to some strange misapprehension by colonials about what constitutes a good cup of tea. 

So I'd like to have him drinking some proper tea to put the record straight. He would incline to an upscale or fairly old-fashioned place. He would also not be averse to having it served by attractive and possibly exotic waiters. The question therefore is - what and where would be the best area of Paris to find an establishment like this to have him drink tea in and what kinds of tea might be on the menu? Even name a cafe if you like - this story is set several years in the future but not *that* far.


My character would be practicing contract or business law for a small firm while living in Paris. Is there a particular sector of the city where small law offices are more likely to be located? And in that case would there be an area nearby that would be relatively upscale but still "older" that an apartment could be maintained?


There may be need for an obligatory emotional scene to do with being bereaved due to continuity obligations - where would be a good place to go off and have a brood (and then a nice cup of tea)?


Bearing in mind that the character is quite wealthy, very fussy, and inclines to slightly archaic tastes (specifically silk cravats and odd colours), I need a suggestion of a good tailor in London where he might have his suits made and thence shipped to either Germany, Los Angeles or Paris, according to where he's residing.

He would have attended University at either Cambridge or Oxford at some point and would therefore be familiar with London. He is in his mid twenties but fairly reserved so a tailor where he wouldn't have to run into anyone else while there would be best.


The character is trying to keep hidden to a reasonable degree, but he would be pathologically unable to sleep in a cheap hotel. A suggestion of somewhere amart but discreet that he might stay for a few days would be useful.


What's the deal with passports etc. and the Eurostar? My character would have both a US and a German passport (I know about the difficult of being a German dual national but that's going to have to be one of those "in the future it changed" things). I'd prefer for him to be able to move from London to Paris without it being flagged up by customs or the police but if that's not possible I'll have to come up with something else.

Thanks for any help on any of these poiints that anyone can give!


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